Category: Life

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard

 

Do you keep a to-do list? I suggest that you replace it with this:

Step one: Throw away your to-do list.

 

Once I heard a doctor say that the people who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness are the people who live their lives to the fullest. I guess that makes sense, I mean, if you were suddenly told today that you were going to die soon, wouldn’t you also start living as if today were your last, and just cut to the most important thing that you had wanted to do to make a difference, whatever that may be?

I say that we abolish these to-do and bucket lists completely because frankly, if you need to keep a list in order to remember the things you want or have to accomplish, those things must not be all that important. When is the last time you forgot something that is really important to you? Never. If you forgot, then trust me, it wasn’t that important. So let’s not confuse what’s important versus what all of the world’s marketing gurus have convinced us are important when they actually aren’t. Those are just distractions, and they do not deserve a place on your to-do list. Plus, keeping a list of things that you may or not get to do someday equates to spending a significant part of your limited time and energy on imagining some vague future all the while forgetting to make most out of the only moment that you have been guaranteed, which is this moment right now. Your focus and attention would propel you much further if they are spent on your actions today rather than on some fantasy of tomorrow. And perhaps ironically, focusing on today will actually give you a better tomorrow, because every day of your life is significantly shaped by what you have accumulated in all of the “today’s” that came before. So if something is REALLY important and you have the urge to put it on some to-do list with the hopes of getting to it, don’t even bother writing it down, and just take care of it today instead.

I also challenge the notion that there is a correlation between life’s satisfaction and the quantity of things you get to do. There are many wonderfully content people whose lives are centered around just one thing that is important to them. Even though that one thing can morph over time and that is only natural for anybody seeking growth, it’s still one thing at a time. The rest of life is fluff; stuff that will take care of themselves if you focus on your one thing.

This may not just be general life advice; it might even apply to more specific endeavors, such as your art or your work. Success and satisfaction come from not letting the small things get in their way of what’s actually important, so we can all start by figuring out what that thing is. And we surely don’t need a list to remember it, because after all, it’s only one thing. The challenge is not in remembering it, but sticking with it despite all of life’s distractions that constantly surround us.

Some of my friends find it absurd that I don’t have internet at home. Maybe it’s not just that, but coupled with the facts that I have never owned a smartphone other than the company phones that my jobs have required me to carry, and my occupation being a software engineer at Google. The questions I often hear are along the lines of “You don’t have internet? But you work for the internet!”

While I am in no way advocating that everybody else do the same and live like me, it turns out that the internet, for all its upsides of giving you constant access to any information you might need at anytime, can also be a detriment and a source of distraction that prevents you from producing your best work. There are huge advantages that come from disconnecting yourself and incorporating moments of boredom to your life.

While boredom may sound like a negative thing, it has actually been a very important part of my life and my work both as a musician and an engineer. It is precisely in these moments of doing nothing that I am the most creative. Many of my musical melodies were born of these moments. So were the solutions to many of the difficult engineering problems I have faced. And it turns out that life without the internet is actually not “boring” at all, because these creative bursts also happen to be the moments when my brain works the hardest, and I end up experiencing my deepest sense of satisfaction.

If you don’t believe it, just try it and you’ll see for yourself. No, I don’t mean you have to go cancel your internet and phone plans right this moment, although you totally could and maybe you should in the near future, but for now, just unplug your wireless router and turn off your phone for an extended period of time. You’ll discover that you’re actually not depriving yourself at all by cutting yourself off from the digital world. It is rather liberating and satisfying that you can totally be at peace even in moments of boredom. And who knows, you might even produce your best work that you never knew you had within you.

What I love about the Japanese language is that an individual word often tells a story, and gets to the core of what that word is actually about.

For example, when I translate the following Japanese words literally back to English, this is what happens:

Physics – 物理学 “butsu-ri-gaku” – the study of the reason for the way things are

Engineering – 工学 “kou-gaku”- the study of the making of useful things

Music – 音楽 “on-gaku” – the enjoyment of sound

Note that music is to be enjoyed, not studied.

 

Here’s another one I love:

Happiness – 幸福 “kou-fuku” – Happy and Lucky

Now, this is deep. Happy AND lucky, not just happy. Let that sink in for a moment.

When we think about the word “happiness”, we often think of it as something that we are currently missing, and therefore need to go looking for. Isn’t that right? I mean, why else would so many people read all these self-help books, or click on articles we see on Facebook with titles like “13 Incredibly Smart Tips to be Happier”?

Maybe we’ve got it all wrong. Maybe happiness is not to be sought after, but rather, something that we all have already.

Today marks the last day of my short and sweet two-week stay in my hometown, Tokyo.

First thing that I immediately notice about Tokyo whenever I come home is the amazing efficiency of its public transportation system. Trains run right on the dot to the second, and this is nothing short of a miracle if you are used to transportation in other cities, especially considering the sheer number of people that depend on this system to work this well in order for Tokyo’s economy to keep on going day in and day out. If Tokyo’s public transportation were to suddenly cease to exist, the hit to the economy will be on the order of billions of dollars every single day.

From the well thought-out UI design on the signs all over Shinjuku station that direct people to the exact platform amongst the dozens of platforms of all the different train lines that run through there, to the software-driven timely announcements that inform people of the status of the trains about to arrive and how they can stand to make getting off and on the trains efficient and quick, to the railroad employee who sets up the ramp for a customer in a wheel-chair and contacts some other employee at some other station about the exact train, car and door number where this person is expected to get off so he can be greeted and helped off the train at his destination, to the IC cards that every passenger carries which electronically records the origin and destination of each of our trips to automatically deduct the correct fare without anyone having to stand in line, all of these little things are executed in perfect coordination to transport millions of people every day so they all get to their respective destinations at the exact time they had planned to get there. To me, Tokyo’s public transportation is a work of art, and the people that made it are artists. This is art because it is unique. There is nothing like it anywhere else in the world.

Speaking of art and Tokyo, I am thankful to have met one artist, Bidu, on this trip.

I use the term “artist” in a general sense. To me, an artist is a person who creates something original. Just because a person draws, plays music, or writes, does not mean that that person is an artist. In contrast, one does not have to partake specifically in those activities to be an artist. For instance, Bidu is a kitchen worker at Google Japan. Perhaps not what people imagine when they hear “artist”.

When you use a Google product, do you think about the people that made it possible? Probably not, but even if you do, maybe you just think about Larry and Sergey whom the public often credits as having built everything Google. If you’re a bit more versed in how software works, maybe you think about the engineers who wrote the code. But I bet you don’t think about the kitchen worker. But Bidu is just as crucial to Google’s products as anyone working at Google.

Bidu is an artist. If you work for Google and have been to the cafe at the Tokyo office, you know who he is, because he most likely greeted you with his big smile as soon as you walked in and asked how your day was going.

On my first day, I just smiled back, and told him that I’m slightly jet-lagged, but otherwise great. I got my food and sat down.

Second day, he greeted me again, so I smiled back again and sat down, but this time close to him where I could hear him as I ate my food. I noticed that he is a bilingual, talking fluent English and Japanese depending on who came in.

Third day, I sat facing the direction where he was working to see him work. I noticed that he actually does more than just greet people. He helps people find what they’re looking for, directed the traffic as the cafe got crowded, transports clean utensils and bowls from the kitchen to the pile as they run low, cleans little spills here and there as people grab the food, and manages to throw in conversations with many people all while doing his job, forming connections. Then a blind person walked in. He immediately took notice and gave him the run down of the stations and the kinds of foods available at each, and made him a plate of all the foods that he wanted.

Fourth day, I noticed that he is actually not just bilingual. He was chatting up with one of the employees in French, so add that to his list of languages.

Fifth day, I got really curious so I asked him if he spoke any other languages. It turns out that he is not just trilingual and his mother tongue isn’t even Japanese, English, or French. He is from the Democratic Republic of Congo, and he grew up learning one of the indigenous languages spoken in his home.

One day the following week, I did not sleep well the previous night so came in a bit tired. He noticed and told me, “You look tired. Grab some coffee, great food, feel refreshed, and ‘ganbatte’ with your job.” (Ganbatte is one of those Japanese words that don’t have a direct English translation, but it’s kind of like “Fight On!”)

You see why I call him an artist. He is not just following some manual of what a kitchen worker ought to do. He is paying close attention to the needs of the people, and is creating an awesome dining experience for the people that come in during their busy and often stressful workday.

We are often led to believe that the dent we can make in this world depends on our job titles. Well, that is simply not true. A job is just your platform, and to quote Khalil Gibran, “work is love made visible.” The art that you make depends on you, not your title. This is true specially in this day and age when the needs of the world changes so quickly and whatever job you trained for will get outdated very quickly. But no matter what life has led you up to this point, if you have a job, somebody is paying you to do what you do, which means there is value in what you do. So are you going to treat it as such, and make art with it? Or are you going to be a cog in a machine and treat your job as some menial task? The choice is yours.

My family started out in a tiny one-room apartment in Tokyo. My parents and my siblings (five of us total), all making do sharing the one room that functioned as the bed room, the living room, and the dining room depending on the time of day. This might be hard to imagine for someone growing up in the United States, but that was just the normal way of life for me and all of my friends. I didn’t think of it much, because I wasn’t even aware that other modes of living existed, other than by fictitious people I saw on TV.

When we moved to California, to put it lightly, the house we moved into was humongous compared to what we were used to. It was as if we had made it in life. I thought to myself, “Wow, we are rich. We are living the life of celebrities.” My perspectives started to shift. I started to think that luxury is about being able to afford nice things: a big house, a big TV, gourmet meals at fancy restaurants, a 5-star resort getaway, and the likes.

It took me a while to discover that I had it all wrong. I finally experienced true luxury when I stopped pursuing material things, and learned to appreciate every little blessing in my daily life. Or, as a wise person put it, “You can’t wear nice clothes to heaven.”

Yuki, my sister, works in the mechanical prototyping industry, among many other things she has gotten into throughout her life. We say that she is the adventurous one in the family. She told me about Les, a machinist she met recently.

Les is a really good machinist. Because he is so good at what he does, he gets a lot of requests from many customers to make more parts. He has to turn them down. The job comes to him, not the other way around. His current project is to make a treadmill. He’s mostly doing it for fun because he can, and unlike a treadmill that has to be plugged in, his is powered by the person running. He is pretty badass.

It’s not easy to get to where Les is, where opportunities just come your way. But we all have something to learn from him.

When you search around the internet for career advice, there’s certainly no shortage of them. I’ve read (and even written) some of them. So much of the information out there focuses on the easy things: what to say in an interview, how to craft your resume and cover letter, how to attend events and meet people. It’s as if marketing ourselves is the most important thing. But is that true? Sure those little things might matter, but to focus our conversation on those things assumes that all jobs are scarce and everybody must fight (or even beg) for them. But really, that’s only for the people who are not yet like Les. So why are we not trying to be like him first and foremost? The tragedy is, all the nuggets of advice we find all over the world in books and internet articles dilute the most important message that we all need to hear:

The single most important thing you should be doing right now is to invest the time you have in honing your craft.

This is not easy. It takes time and work. But it makes the most difference.

I am certainly no Les. I am not there yet. But I have seen over the years that the more I work on my craft, the less I have to ask for opportunities, and more that just come to me. This applies no matter your field. The concept is simple, it’s not rocket science. The higher the quality of your work, the more it is valued.

How well you do your craft matters, A LOT. Invest in it.

“Facebook is so toxic, it is like a happiness competition,” was the remark my coworker made during one of many casual conversations in which we discuss a wide array of topics that seem to have nothing to do with our work. I find these conversations so valuable that I make it a goal every single day to talk to my coworkers and learn about how other engineers see the world. Engineering at its core is about shaping the world to make it better, so our most important task, more so than our technical growth, is to continue to aim to understand more about society. On this particular day, this statement struck a chord with me.

It is interesting that social media has become a place where we show off how great our lives are, yet research shows that usage of such platforms seem to be negatively affecting our self-esteem.

Any happy person knows that happiness comes from the little things that happen daily. It’s not at all about some grand accomplishment that earns many “likes” on social media.

Yet so many people believe that life is about these accomplishments. I realized that a few years ago when I quit my job. People were sorry for me even though I felt that I had just made a wonderful decision that allowed me time to grow more as a musician. Then when I went back to an office job, so many people congratulated me. Why is it so deeply ingrained in our minds that life is suddenly great if a person gets a a new job, a new degree, a new house, a new car, or a new spouse? Sure these may be good things, but not because of the end result. A college degree is hopefully a sign that you have the diligence to learn something difficult, and you will continue to use that skill to develop yourself. A new job hopefully means that you worked hard at your passion and equipped yourself with a talent that an employer sees as valuable, and now you will continue to grow as a person on the job. Or a new spouse hopefully means that you have a person in your life that you really enjoy spending time with, and you will continue to support each other as you build a life together. Those are things worth celebrating every single day. But it is problematic when we idolize just the end goals and start pursuing them as if the final result are what matters. Life has so much more to offer you along the way regardless of the destination.

Although I am concerned about the harm that come from our attachment to social media, I remain optimistic and believe that a proper use of it can also be a force for good. It can unite people for a good cause, or inform people of important issues in the world. But let’s take a step back and take some time to consider what it may be doing to us, particularly our mental health. Let’s appreciate all the little moments of joy in our lives, even if they are not grand and worthy of making it to our social media feeds.

It is the new year. It’s the time of the year when we set our “new year’s resolutions” if only to keep it going for a week or two then forget about it until next year.

For me, I haven’t set up new year’s resolutions in the past, because I find the whole idea kind of silly. If there is something I want to accomplish, I should work toward it whether it’s the new year or not. What you are is an accumulation of what you have done day in and day out. The best students study daily, not just before the test. The best engineers learn daily, not just before a job interview or when their task at work requires them to. The best artists and athletes practice daily, not just for a big concert or a game.

But if you are setting goals whether it’s the new year’s or not, here’s a helpful mindset to actually get you somewhere:

Set up a goal that is about the present, and gets to the core of what it is that you want.

Here are some examples of ineffective goals:

“I will pay off my debt.”
“I will lose 20 lbs.”
“I will get a better-paying job.”

These goals all have one thing in common, which is that they are results-oriented and not specific to guide your daily actions, starting with today.

Yes, the idea of being debt free is wonderful and I totally agree, if you or anyone you know have any outstanding debts, then absolutely, they should pay it off. It’s not so much the end result here that’s problematic, but it’s the way the goal is set.

The hidden notion under such an outcome-oriented goal is that you are unhappy with your current life, and you will be only when you reach the end. It is kind of depressing living life while constantly thinking that something is missing or not right. Such an attitude can actually pull you further away from your goal.

A goal should be much more process-oriented, and something that you can achieve every single day. What is it that you really want? If you want to pay off your debt, my guess is that what you really want is along the lines of financial literacy, responsibility, and freedom or maybe you just want to feel good about yourself. If that’s so, how about a goal like “I will increase the loan payments. Instead of paying the minimum required, I will allocate 10% of every paycheck.”

We’ve shifted the goal into something you can accomplish frequently (everytime you get a paycheck) instead of an all-encompassing thing at the very end (pay off my debt). You can even automate the process with your bank, and not even think about it, freeing your mind to focus on perhaps another goal. You’ll feel great that you’ve made the change because it focuses on the “now”, not the future and you are accomplishing it every day. Once you are feeling good about your present situation, let your optimism be the fuel to get you even closer to your goal to take the next step, whatever it may be. When it comes to personal finance, there are so many great resources from people like Dave Ramsey and Ramit Sethi. So always be educating yourself, and act on the informaton you obtain. Your life will be so much more fun when you start to enjoy the journey, not just the final outcome.

So that was just one example, but you can apply to the same principle to any goal. With that, I wish you a happy new year. Let your 2018 be filled with fun challenges.

I grew up in the church, and one of the bible verses that I distinctly remember resonating with me so much at the time I heard it as a kid in Sunday school was this one from 1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.”

For some reason, I used to have this deep-rooted emotional dislike of money. I am not sure where I got that from, and since then, my view has changed enough to a point where I no longer take it as far as to claim that it is the root of all evil, but I still do think that it is not particularly healthy for anyone to be attached to their money or material things.

But on the other hand, I also worry that many people (including the younger me) have such an extremely negative view of it, because I routinely notice that many of my friends lean pretty far to the left on the political spectrum, and claim bold, unfounded statements, like “Homelessness is up. It’s because of those greedy capitalists!” forgetting the fact that a switch to more capitalistic policies has lifted many people in China and India out of poverty, and free-market principles (assuming no corruption) dictate that a business cannot be successful unless they offer to the public what they deem to be valuable. There are some exceptions here, like the corrupt finance industry and the politicians that serve them, but I’ll write about that another day. Today I just want us to think about money and if it is really evil.

First of all, consider the fact that money is a very useful form of abstraction. Without it, trading goods and services in this complex global economy would be a complete mess and an impossibility. So there’s a societal value to the existence of money that we all benefit from.

In our personal lives, money, if used properly, is a very powerful thing that could transform us. For example, money can be used to give us more time. That’s because having extra money means that we have to work that much less. Given how short our lives are and how little time many of us spend with the people that we love, there’s nothing more valuable than time.

Money can also be used for investing in yourself to help fulfill your goals. You can use it to buy books to learn about a topic, or to pay the tuition of a college class that will teach you the skills you need to get to the next level in an area you are passionate about.

Here’s another example of money at work: this month, with the generous contributions from many of my coworkers, a fundraiser I sponsored raised $9919 for the Harmony Project, a non-profit organization that provides music education for inner-city youth in Los Angeles.

Money may not solve all problems, but if it helps an organization like Harmony Project reach a few more kids and allow them access to quality music education (which is not just about music, I wrote more here), and changes the life of even one kid for the better, that is huge in my eyes, because these acts are paid forward long after the initial money is gone. That one kid will go on to touch the lives of some other kids, then those kids will affect many more kids, and the chain continues indefinitely.

So while we shouldn’t be so attached to money, maybe we shouldn’t hate it either. If anything, we should embrace it for all the wonderful possibilities that come from it, and educate the youth about a healthy attitude toward it.

By the way, the offer I made to my coworkers for the fundraiser is also good for anyone reading this blog. If you donate to the Harmony Project and let me know that you did, I will personally match your contribution, which will then be matched by my employer, until the total raised amount reaches $15,000.

Today was a special day.

I saw my former student, Michelle, for the first time in over 10 years. She has become quite the accomplished dancer in the world of Tribal Fusion Dance, and her show in Tokyo coincidentally happened to be within walking distance from where I am temporarily staying, so of course I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to see her perform live for the first time.

Because her routines seemed so well thought-out and her flow of energy so purposeful, I was surprised when she told me afterward that she had improvised the whole thing. However, I do know from my experience playing music that “improvisation” is often a misunderstood word. It does not mean “do whatever”. There’s so much preparation that happens behind the scenes because an artist must develop a vast amount of knowledge, skill, and intuition before their improvisations are any good, and contrary to the popular notion of complete freedom, it is actually the restrictions under which the artist must perform that give so much meaning and beauty to the improvisation.

We also got to catch up on life a bit, and her plan is to “quit dancing once she gets really good, because then it will be too boring.” That may sound counter-intuitive, but I was not surprised one bit, because that is a common outlook I’ve heard from many artists I admire. To them, art is a journey, not a destination. And even though they are already “really good” by worldly standards, they know that there is much more to be done to get to the next level.

Thanks Michelle for the inspiration! (By the way she was my math student. I don’t teach dance, in case anyone was wondering, but I am still a proud teacher!)