Morning Calm

“Morning Calm” is the title of my new piano piece.

About six months ago, I moved closer to my day job in order to give myself more time to work on my music. My new apartment is just a walking distance from the office, and one of the best consequences of this change is that I no longer use an alarm clock to wake up. It is such a blessing that my life is not dependent on the hours of traffic or bus schedule.

Every morning, I feel relaxed, and my mind is more focused on the music I create.

On sexism

It has been a few days since the infamous Google doc, or the “Anti-Diversity Manifesto” as so many media sources have called it, has been passed around. I’m not going to respond specifically to it because many have done that already, and it is so easy to view this as an “us-versus-them” issue because of the outspoken nature of those who hold extreme views on the topic, even though the reality is much more nuanced. I wish the media didn’t simplify the issue and boil it down to a sound bite with a misleading title like “Anti-Diversity Manifesto”, because, despite the author’s being labeled as “sexist”, his main motivation for writing the document doesn’t seem to be to speak against diversity itself, but to question Google’s specific diversity initiatives. If you carefully read it, he had some good points to make.

However, beyond the doc, I do want to point out a few things about sexism in the workplace and in society in general, because the gravity of the issue at hand is actually about so much more than this one single doc.

“Sexism”, just like many other words that end in -ism, is ingrained in the way a society functions which propel behaviors from the members of the society that cause a certain effect, in this case, the degradation of the members of the female gender, made possible largely by what are considered the societal and cultural norms, and our indifference toward those norms. So the problem isn’t simply the one openly sexist person who believes that men are better than women, but rather, what all of us tolerate every single day, or at times don’t even realize or label as sexism because of our ignorance and the subtlety of the issues that we encounter. So much of sexism goes unnoticed because we have built a society in which it is perfectly ordinary for one gender to be treated differently than the other, so unless we are actively seeking to identify and bust the existence of sexism, we will continue to live in a sexist society. Most of the time, we don’t even stop to think about it, or realize that something is wrong, which is exactly why this is a problem.

It starts early in our lives as culture and society subliminally enforce stereotypical norms on everyone from a very early age. As young kids, boys are given puzzles and Legos that improve their spacial and reasoning abilities, while girls are given dolls to play with. Boys are encouraged to develop skills that lead to a career (You like to cook? You should become a chef) while girls are encouraged to develop skills for making a home. (You like to cook? You’ll make a great wife and mother.) That might not be as big of an issue if homemakers got the respect that they deserve for the hard work that they do, but as long as society continues to elevate work above home-making, and money-making above relationship-making, this is a major issue. In school, boys are more likely to be given feedback from their teachers that directly address their performance, while girls are more likely to be commented on about their smiles and clothes. And even if we actively tried to stay away, nobody is immune from the dose of pop culture that is always screaming at us; all those TV shows and movies that portray men as heroic protagonists and women as objects to be won by those heroes. And throughout all of these experiences, little by little, we start to pick up on the social cues, and what it means for each one of us to be a valuable member of this society. While boys are taught to be brave and take risks (which naturally lead to many life opportunities), girls are taught to play it safe, be gentle, and look and act cute.

The sexism of course doesn’t stop in adolescence, they continue through adulthood. I routinely notice that when a group of people are having a conversation, a male member of the group will often interrupt a female member who is speaking, and nobody will raise this as an issue. This happens so often that we don’t even notice it as it happens right in front of our eyes. (One time, I encountered exactly this situation in a meeting to discuss how we can promote diversity. Irony much?) Not only do we often fail to recognize the inherent sexism here, men even benefit from such a scene, because so many people view it as a sign of strength when a man expresses his views and dominate the conversation. But our reactions are surely different if the opposite were to happen, that is, if a women were to interrupt a man. Or heck, she doesn’t even have to interrupt anyone, she may just hold a strong opinion about something and express it, at which point she quickly gets labeled as “bossy” or “bitchy”. (related read: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg) Ok, maybe people are not that explicit nowadays with their choice of words, but you get the point.

Here’s another example that you may have encountered: a female coworker of yours does something that is outside of her job description, such as volunteering to organize a team lunch together, or cleaning up after a social event in the office. If you pay some attention as to how the situation plays out, you will notice that she got little to no recognition for this work, because subconsciously, we take it for granted that it is the normal role of women to be these supporting figures behind the scenes, all the while men are encouraged to take on the more flashy, “respectable” roles that stand out more, and often are more about elevating himself rather than the team (by the way, it is horrible that such actions are tolerated and even rewarded, because it hurts the company more than it helps if we wish to engineer a great product, but we can save that discussion for another day), and through these selfish actions, he somehow earns status and respect, and with that come the raises and promotions. And even if your male colleague were to volunteer himself to do some of the “supportive” tasks instead, he is still recognized for that because it is out of the norm for men to take on such a task and be so “selfless”, so his actions are immediately noticed and appreciated.

So about the “doc”, while we may feel good about ourselves because we think that we are fighting sexism by expressing our outrage toward one man who decided to share his views with the company, please, don’t let us think that that is the way to change. It is great to have these conversations as a starting point, but more importantly, let our actions speak loudly for what we stand for. Let us fight deliberately the sexism of this world. To start, we must be aware of the ways in which societal norms can put down one gender. Once we recognize the issue, we can actively challenge them.

Why I Make Music

The musician in me wants to embrace this romantic notion of music-writing. Something like “I got inspired today, so I wrote this beautiful song.”

But the educator in me wants to teach the world about the misconception of such a notion, what it means to actually pursue music, and why, although the actual process may not be as cool as the above romanticized version, is actually the coolest thing ever.

It is great that there are so many ways to enjoy music. I am a creator, and I am much more interested in creating rather than consuming. I’m not as interested in consuming music, or rather, consuming much of anything, hence the reason I don’t own a TV or a smartphone, and I don’t surf the internet unless specific circumstances require me to. Some people even find it shocking that I don’t have internet at home, but to me, living distraction-free is a great way to maximize the time to create music and thereby increase my level of happiness. However I do appreciate that the world also has consumers, like the people who like to enjoy music by listening to them. Many of my songs were written with a specific audience in mind.

But one thing is very clear to me. The world needs more creators. Fulfillment in one’s life pretty closely matches the ratio of how much one creates as opposed to how much they consume. The happiest people I know and have worked with closely are all creators. So although I don’t advocate that we stop being consumers completely from this moment on, I do encourage everyone to create more. It doesn’t have to be a piece of music, and it doesn’t even need an audience. But do create something. Maybe a wonderfully tasty meal, a lecture on a topic you care deeply about, or the first draft of the first chapter of that novel you’ve always fantasized about writing. You will notice that all of these things don’t just happen simply because you got inspired. It takes a lot of time to build up the necessary knowledge and to refine your skills to get to a point where you can create something beautiful.

To make good music first requires acknowledging your shortcomings. Only then can you define what work it will take to overcome them. It helps if you can find pleasure in knowing that there are things you cannot do yet but you do have the potential to accomplish with effort. Either way, in the end it simply comes down to actually putting forth that required effort. That’s all, there are no secrets to it. This process is not “fun” in the traditional sense that people use that word. “Struggle” might be more befitting. But I argue that the struggle is where the fun is. The constant struggle shapes you in ways you would never have imagined. There is nothing more fulfilling than going to bed each evening knowing that you made progress today, and you will again tomorrow. This daily progress is so small that nobody except you noticed. But the little steps add up over time, and in what seems like a blink of an eye (to others, not you), you will reach a point where people say things like, “How the heck do you do what you do?” “You’re so talented!”, and “Your work is so beautiful! What inspired you?”

It is a tragedy that “talent” is so commonly regarded as the factor that limits what a person can accomplish in life. “Talent” is a false concept, there is no such thing. So although it may be tempting to say that a person is “talented”, please, be careful when you use that word, especially around children who are still forming ideas about how the world works.

All of the above is not to discount inspiration, I do get inspired to write music from time to time. But most of the time when I write, it is intentional. And even in times when I get lucky and catch a whiff of inspiration, what I am able to do as a result of that inspiration is still limited by the skills I have built up slowly over time by being intentional about my growth.

I didn’t choose to pursue music because I wanted to become great. Actually, I admit, I do yearn to write a great song and I think all musicians do, but that’s just a possible outcome of my trying, and I don’t have full control over that, so it is not the most productive goal to work toward if I am to be at peace with my current self, because most of the music I write I don’t even like. They are pretty bad. And if I don’t ever achieve a point where people consider my music to be “great”, I will be perfectly okay with that. That’s not really the point of music anyway. Music was invented as a way for people to have fun. I am a musician because the very act of creating is fun and fulfilling. I simply feel blessed just for having the opportunity for even the remote chance that I might create something beautiful, and even if I end up creating a bad piece of music, well, I would still have had a whole lot of fun doing it, so what more can I ask for?

Evening Drive

For me, driving is a time of reflection. I love the solitude that it provides. I don’t even listen to music in my car as I find it distracting. I just listen to the white noise coming from the car’s engine and the road, and I simply reflect.

I have recently finished writing a collection of piano pieces which portray the different scenes and aspects of my everyday life. This piece is one of them, and is a portrayal of my car ride as it takes me through the various neighborhoods and highways in one Los Angeles evening.

The other pieces in the collection will be available in digital stores soon!

Sky

A few years ago, I took a bird-watching class. I learned about the great diversity of bird species that existed nearby that I never knew about. It was also a great way to force myself to leave my work at a reasonable time and go enjoy some sunlight and nature on a more regular basis. What started as my desire to satisfy my intellectual curiosity led me to realize that I was not taking very good care of myself. It was a waste not to spend more time basking in the beauty of this planet, the only home we have ever known. This song came about during that period.

Check out this song and more on my album, Memories, available on iTunes / Amazon / Spotify.

Girls Who Code

Girls Who Code’s Summer Immersion Program application is now open.

If you know of any girls currently in the 10th or 11th grades, encourage them to apply to take part in this life-changing experience.

The Girls Who Code Summer Immersion Program (SIP) is like an intense coding boot camp for high school girls. Over the course of one entire summer, they attend the program for 7 hours a day, and they learn important computer science concepts such as conditionals, abstraction, and object-oriented programming, and their various applications such as robotics, cyber security, and game and web development. Most of the girls come into the program with little to no computer science experience, and not only do they come out with a newfound love for coding and problem-solving, they also learn that with time and effort, they can accomplish things that they thought they could not do.

Check out this video below documenting my students’ summer, and this LA Times article highlighting some of the girls and their projects. Video credit to Linda, my amazing fellow co-teacher!

https://vimeo.com/134678192